Chapter Four

A few weeks later, Deborah spoke to her mother about some kids in her school. She mentioned one girl, especially, Sylvia, who seemed to get every boys attention:

ـِـ She always, almost, wears high-heel shoes, with high-cut dresses or shirts. If she doesn't stop soon, I think I'm going to do the same thing! Because she always gets the boys attention!

Her mother smiled a bit smugly.

ـِـ Oh, she's that kind of a girl!

ـِـ What are you smiling about?!

ـِـ Sorry, dear! ... I was smiling about something that your brother said to me last month!

ـِـ What?!

ـِـ Oh, I don't know how to put this. ... I feel that you should know that he – and your god damned dad too – feels that girls should be into showing off their sexuality! I just came to the conclusion that perhaps all men feel like that!

ـِـ Why, mom?

ـِـ Oh, hun. It's embarrassing to say this, but as there was an affair that I had, your father spied on me! It seems he found out that I had a very young man to be romancing sexually with. ... Now it seems to me that he could have accepted that part if I had only been into sexuality to begin with, at least if there had been other women allowed!

ـِـ I see.

ـِـ Therefore, you probably have to be really extravagant if you want to catch them, and perhaps lesbian too.

Deborah looked thoughtful. Then she smiled.

ـِـ Yeah, I might try that, mom!

Her mother giggled.

ـِـ Do you know what? I also was thinking like that until I reached the conclusion that they should be that way themselves. As it is they tend to seem only to want to make us into their sex objects. You know, that's sort of what I've always said, but now I feel it's even more so than I thought then!

ـِـ But do you know mom: If we really had that sex appeal, then they wouldn't be having to complain about what we seem to them to be hiding, right?!

ـِـ So what?!

ـِـ Don't you see, mom? It's they who should get the blame to be reckoned with as leading to that they're even worth at the hiding part! That way we can go back to our own competences of keeping things sane and smart, as long as the show of extravagance really can be there for them at times.

Her mother drew a very deep sigh at this.ـِـ Why do you believe that they wouldn't expose that thing as if you were only an incompetent slut, who weren't into sex for anything but their business?!

ـِـ Because there isn't anything but fancy they should have to be dealt with as if having, for the sake of them being the bastards of ... well, cowardness!

Her mother sighed again, before saying:

ـِـ OK. ... But do know what, I and even you will eventually grow too old for that!

ـِـ No, mom! There really isn't any too old for that extravagance!

ـِـ What!?

Deborah hissed a sigh when saying:

ـِـ I mean there's no torment good enough to be reckoned with as the mediocre stuff as long as they take for granted you're more sexual than they are!

ـِـ How can you be so sure?!?

She looked a bit chocked when saying it.

ـِـ It's not about knowing! It's much about what I've seen in school already, with Sylvia turning them on for like no other reason, and what I've seen on daddy's porn videos. There really are, you know, the older women doing the weird stuff they don't - and that's why they like to watch it!

ـِـ Look, Deborah! It's not to be seen as anything but an excuse for him to say that's what we would be like if we really should what we wanted! Your father really has been pretending so and I sometimes don't know what to say to him except exactly that there is not any reason to believe that is for real apart from the money they make, or something else that is there due to male manipulation! ... I can't believe there would be anything but a stupid brainwashed you in that movie if you'd be doing it!

ـِـ Why mom?!

ـِـ Why!?

ـِـ Yeah, why mom?

ـِـ Because that would seem to be you really did want that kind of stuff! That's why!

Deborah sighed.

ـِـ So what?! Those who seem to want it are getting all for nothing for it!

Her mother looked depressed, but said nothing. Deborah left her sitting there, went to her room and did her homework.